Saturday, June 6, 2015

growth mindset

My first year as a teacher (7th grade Science) is now packed up nicely in boxes, waiting on my return in August. People warned me about how much the first year of teaching would change my life, & in my true stubborn nature, I actually believed that the experience would somehow be different for me.

Alas, I am not the special snowflake that I would have liked to believe, & my first year of teaching was a long, dark tunnel of terribleness. One that I am happily signing up for again next year. Does that make it like child birth? Completely painful while you are going through it, but a wonderful accomplishment once you are finished!?

As silly as it sounds, I think I have found my "calling" in teaching. Yes, 7th graders are a particularly challenging bunch of humans. Yes, over these past 9 months I have never worked harder, slept less, or cared more about other people at the expense of my own well-being, but I think it is the start of something good. Great even. 

When I sign up to do something, I have to do it with ALL of my being. There is no half-assing it in my book. This bull-headed perfectionist personality that I have is in many ways a good thing, but it also means that when things are not getting done to my standards, there is a fair amount of self-guilt inflicted as well. Which brings me to the state of this blog over the past year…

Over the last year I quit grad school, got married, moved (3… or was it 4 times… I lost count!), & started a new career. Somehow, I na├»vely thought I would be able to keep up with my hobbies along the way. Well folks, I couldn't even successfully keep up with the dishes piling up in my sink, & this blog definitely took a back seat to life. 

October to February was the hardest stretch of this new life chapter. It got dark early. I was sleep deprived. I had a husband that I wanted to hang out with. Mid-term grades were due. It was cold. I got sick. Basically there were a million excuses I was really to deploy for why I wasn't posting on the blog. In 2013, from October to December I posted 100+ times compared to 55 in the same time period for 2014. I was half here, I was half into it, but I was fully pretending that my life wan't in shambles behind the scenes. I felt guilty for not posting. And I was also afraid that if I took some time off, that what I had built for the past few years would turn back to dust. 

Some people put a lot of emphasis on growing their blogs. Getting bigger, amassing more free stuff, reaching more people. And while yes, I would like to ultimately reach more people, I am happy with the size my blog is now. Here&Now has not grown in the last 12 months, but is hasn't gotten smaller either. I am grateful for those of you who are still here, still reading, still commenting, still encouraging me in this corner of the internet. 

I am now on Summer break, looking forward to 6 weeks of catching up on sleep, my reading list & responding to emails. We have some travel booked, but really I am just allowing myself to not feel guilty about relaxing. 

Since I haven't had much time to shop for Summer clothes, my style these next few months is going to be very pared down. I have been finding inspiration from these posts:
The minimalist's guide to setting & achieving goals
30 Day Minimalism Challenge
Being Content With My Closet
How To Take Your Basics From Day To Night

My Summer outfits are going to feature a lot of: natural leather, Panama hats, denim, white, minimal accessories. My top favorite pins right now are: 1 // 2 // 3

What would you like to see on Here&Now this Summer? I do have quite a bit of time on my hands :)

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