quarter life crisis

I had a friend in college tell me that for someone that talks as much as I do (spoiler alert, I talk a LOT), I never really reveal much about what's below the surface. And I suppose that is true, I have had a blog for 2+ years now, & even if you've read since the beginning, you know that I have 2 pugs, am engaged, live in Nashville, & am going to graduate school at Vanderbilt…. but not much more. I have been afraid to open up too much, to be vulnerable, for fear that my boss would find this corner of the internet, because of worries that I won't look perfect, & because of my own general anxieties.

Well, that last defining characteristic is about to change. As of January 14th, 2014 I will be Master Jessica… leaving Vanderbilt & giving up my dreams of becoming Dr. Jessica Ph.D.

But even writing "giving up" doesn't fit… I am transitioning, following my gut & jumping in with both feet to a new life path. And I couldn't be happier. Mind you I have been physically wrestling with this decision, battling it, struggling & fighting to find which way is up.

I don't think I can even put the words together to describe how disgruntled I had become with graduate school (& I have been trying to pen this post for MONTHS). I think my frustrations really came to a head in September (sorry if my 9/11 subject matter was insensitive to some)… I was searching, truly wondering "what I wanted to be when I grew up" & befuddled as to how everyone else seemed to have their shit act together. I didn't see myself using my Ph.D. (like EVER), I was facing more than a year of school ahead of me, & then WHAT? 

So I turned inward. I feel like I have been inside my own head (in a bad way) for the past 4 months, questioning E.V.E.R.Y. decision, feeling inadequate, & lost despite 26 years of experience on this planet. I literally began searching, starting with Google (where all legit searches find their origins), entering "how to become a ______"…. with everything from "professional organizer" to "stay at home pug mom" filling in that gaping blank.

And slowly but surly a plan started for form. An exit strategy. A satisfying move forward. Being that I am slightly massively OCD, I can't make a move without having the next 5 already in place. Again, I didn't want to feel like a failure, so I have hid these 4 months (or more, if I'm being honest) of struggle from you, afraid of floundering in the unknown, all across the internet. 

What's the next chapter look like? I have accepted a teaching position with Nashville Metro schools, and while I am still looking for where my exact placement will be, you are looking at a future high school biology teacher. 

And as for the blog, I am still committed, but truth be told, I don't know how things will change over the coming months… I might look back & think how naïve, but if I managed this situation while working insane graduate student hours, then I surely can keep it together as a teacher… riiiiiight?

Phew… the cat is finally out of the bag & onto the blog. If you have any questions about things, please leave a comment & I would love to expound upon them in a future post. 

Happy weekend y'all!

Blogger Spotlight: Here&Now

I never really thought about it when I typed out the first post on this corner of the Internet, but I have grown to truly cherish what has become my online diary. This is the history of me & that's pretty cool. And today I am super duper happy to add another chapter to that book of me, 2 years of blogging! Pop some bottles :)

In honor of this milestone, I am putting myself in the Blogger Spotlight! Feel free to ask any questions in the comments & I will come back to chat this weekend!

but seriously, if anyone celebrates the giving of blogiversary presents, I'll take that dreamy MK purse please!

One of the most common questions I get is, "what do you know now that you wished you knew at the beginning"... and because saying EVERYTHING doesn't really offer any useful information, I sat down & thought of 10 things. These are all blog lessons that have served me well over the past years (some learned regretfully later than others).

1. It's better to post nothing at all than something not up to your standards. 

2. Build relationships that are meaningful. Build a community with bloggers like yourself, interact on social media, real interaction, like have conversations on Twitter. It's pretty fun.

3. The worst thing that people can say is no. I am still working on this, but I haven't had anyone say no yet... what was I so scared of for so long!?

4. Don't suck at email. If you're a blogger of any degree, it's your job to email. Respond in a timely manner. Use proper grammar. Include a signature line at the bottom.

5. Splurge for that fancy blog design. Seriously do it. People go for the things with pretty packages, that's just human nature. When I finally decided to go for a blog redesign I picked the one that was $$$ & would last me for years, over the one that cost $ & would have only been a patch until I got what I really wanted. Create a beautiful place, create it early, define your brand.

6. Learn something new everyday. Unless you already know it all, and if that is the case come help me!

7. Don't let comparison steal your joy. This one is BEYOND hard. But this quote really put it into perspective for me:

"Wherever you are in life with whatever you're doing – you're going to be ahead of some & behind others. That's okay. Own where you are. Take time to embrace & celebrate that. Continue moving forward. And never compare your beginning to someone else's middle."

8. Take time to live offline. It's pretty cool out there. You don't have to blog about everything.

9. Google it. If you don't know something Google it (or Bing it if that's what you're into). You'd be surprised the things that other people have asked before you. Directly tied to #6.

10. Be nice. Really this one is all you need. Print this out & put it on your wall.

And now because I love you all, I am giving away the Philip Lim x Target mini yellow satchel (stuffed with some of my favorite goodies!)
Unlike most of my giveaways, I am not going to promote this one all over social media. This one is just for the regulars ;)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

my bedside table story

Part of my journey to live for the "Here&Now" includes learning to "bloom where I am planted".

As I child, that old fashioned saying used to frustrate me to no end. 

Bloom where you are planted!? Why not pick up your roots & run wild, be free!? What good is it just putting up with ok when you could go out & find awesome! (I had a bit of a rebellious streak growing up... it explains a lot!)

So now that I find myself living in a teeny tiny townhouse surrounded by pug hair & a job that I'm not 100% crazy about... I totally get it.

Life isn't about wanting the "good life" that is out there somewhere, it is about making what you have right in front of you your best life.

Thrive where you are. Bloom in the moment.

So while my humble abode isn't going to be gracing the amazingness of Glitter Guide, or the Every Girl any day soon, I want to work on cherishing it, even in its imperfectness. 

Hopefully once or twice a month I will share with you a snapshot of my home, a behind the scenes look at mi casa. I picked up the laundry & blew off the pug hair, but these are not stylized shots, just my house as it was on a rainy Sunday evening... heck, I even left my retainer out for you! Now that's hospitality. 

Welcome to my bedroom:

c/dock iPhone charger & my current reading list 

Going to bed with soft & yummy smelling hands is the best! (Anthro pure & good lotion)

Practicing the cultivation of gratitude with my nightly journal. I light a candle, reflect on my day, jot down a note... & then get on Instagram. haha, keeping it real!

I never before owned "room spray" but this W Hotel's room fragrance is legit! I spritz a little on my pillow before I brush my teeth & get to sink my head into deliciousness every night!

bedside tables, last year's Threshold collection from Target

The other side of the bed, Ty's reading material is a little different than my selections!

We collect corks from meaningful occasions, write a note on them & keep them close by to remember our good fortunes & great times!

A favorite pillow from PB Teen (old)

I swear, she is a Sour Patch kid. One moment she's sweet, the next she's horrid! #grumpypug

Silk peonies that we will be using in our wedding.

my stud muffin, Doug the Pug

I inherited this wall map from school & we use it to document all the places we have travelled together. It is nice waking up & dreaming about vacations!

The Kentucky Derby in Louisville, picking out our pugs in Bowling Green, meeting in Nashville, school retreats at Paris Landing State Park, white water rafting outside Chattanooga, music festival shenanigans in Manchester Tennessee.

my little model. she loves to twerk, don't be fooled!

my jellies watch over me as I sleep!

So there she blows! I never knew I could take so many pictures of such a small room! And I even managed to forget to capture one of my favorite prints (gotta love a good Vonnegut quote!)

How do you bloom where you are planted?

Blogiversary!

{original image via}

It's my 1st birthday y'all!

I simply CANNOT believe that I hit the "publish" button on this little guy 1 year ago today.

Since then I have published 400+ posts, met many blogger friends that I am convinced are my long lost sisters, learned more about my ever evolving style choices, and somehow convinced a few of you to follow along while I was at it.

Seriously though, this blog is my after hours hobby, and it brings me SUCH joy to come home and read your sweet comments, and cook up new content for the next day. How you haven't gotten tired of pictures of me or my pug yet is BE-yond me!

To thank you for being a part of the Here&Now community and celebrate 1 year of blogging, I have a little giveaway for you beautiful people

I love displaying fashion/style books around my house, and especially enjoy the books recently put out by some of the amazing bloggers I have "met" though the interwebs over the past few years.

5 of my favorite books written by bloggers (that I would like to give to you to enjoy!) are I Spy DIY Style, What I Wore, Cupcakes and Cashmere, The One Hundred, and The Sartorialist.

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Thank you from the bottom of my heart for being a part of my slice of the internet, and I can't wait to bring you even more great stuff in the very near future and over the years to come!

Cheers!!

P.S. I am linking up with Long Distance Loving for her 100th Friday's Fancies... head on over { there } to continue the milestone celebration party!

My Happiness Project

I have talked about the little things that make me happy before, and if asked, I would certainly say that I am a happy person... but I have always wondered if there was secret for maximizing one's happiness that I was missing out on. After multiple recommendations, I picked up a copy of The Happiness Project... and I couldn't put it down, reading it cover to cover in a weekend.

The honest and easy way that author Gretchen Rubin talks about her own struggles with maximizing her happiness... resounded strongly with me.

I can honestly say that I am happier after reading this book. Some of the changes Rubin implements in her life, won't happen over night (stop nagging... yea, that's going to take some time), but having these nuggets of information at the front of my mind have made me more aware of cultivating my happiness daily

30 before 30

 Today I am 25... I have lived a quarter of a century. To me age is simply a number so I welcome and celebrate each and every birthday (maybe I say that now), and I have certainly enjoyed my 25 years... but am looking forward to the next 25. Where will I be? What will I be doing? I can't even venture a guess, for the next few years as I complete my degree are very up in the air... but I look forward to finishing my 20s in style.

{via}

Here are 30 things that I would love to tick off before I reach my next decade:

{Do}

{ 1. } Make a signature cocktail (Champagne + St. Germain)

{ 2. } Find my perfect shade of red lipstick (Nars "Heat Wave)

{ 3. } Have a progressive dinner party

{ 4. } Re-learn how to knit

{ 5. } Define my style aesthetic (working on it here)

{ 6. } Invest in a classic handbag (December 2013 - this MK one)

{ 7. } Learn to french braid my hair

{ 8. } Complete my Ph.D. (Graduated with my Masters January 2014)

{ 9. } Start stretching... I want to be able to do the splits again! 

{ 10. } Ride in a hot air balloon (29th Birthday, see evidence on Instagram here & here!)

{via}

{See}

{ 11 .} Visit NYC (completed June 2013)

{ 12. } Party in Vegas (Bachelorette Party, 2015)

{ 13. } Play in Disney Land (completed during our 2016 road trip - evidence on Instagram here)

{ 14. } Travel to all 50 states (21 more to go! Over half way there!)

Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, West Virginia, Wisconsin, Wyoming

{ 15. } Attend a real life fashion show (Nashville Fashion Week, 2014)

{ 16. } Go back home for my 10 year high school reunion 

{ 17. } Go back to Europe (maybe with Ty !?)

{ 18. } Take a road trip with Ty to Oregon (Instagram evidence here)

{via}

{Live}

{ 19. } Learn all the constellations
{ 20. } Read 20 new books (passed the mark & still going!)
See my Summer 2015 Reading List + Reviews here

{1. The Paris Wife 2. Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? 3. Little Bee 4. Bel Canto 5. Truth & Beauty (highly recommend!) 6. Where'd You Go Bernadette 7. The 5 Love Languages 8. Gone Girl (messed up, in the best possible way) 9. The Fault In Our Stars (if in need of a beautiful cry, dispatch this book) 10. Hyperbole and a Half (SO my humor, I laughed so hard I might have tinkled a little bit) 11. The Goldfinch 12. All the Light We Cannot See (beautifully heart wrenching) 13. Bossypants (I think Tiny Fey is my spirit animal) 14. The Girls of Atomic City (an interesting historical non-fiction read, especially if you are from/live-in Tennessee) 15. Grace, A Memoir (MAN! She has lived the life, loved getting a peek behind the front row of fashion) 16. Room (such a gripping story - haven't seen the movie  yet, but it is on my list!) 17. The Night Circus (strangely beautiful, transported me to a different time) 18. Me Before You (I dare you to read this and not cry!) 19. Modern Lovers (I love the characters & their individual story lines in this) 20. The Woman in Cabin 10 (Being my anxious self, I read the last page of this book & it still took me for such a twisting ride!) 21. In a dark, dark wood (perfectly dark and suspenseful) … }

{ 21. } Find a church that I enjoy going to (gave up on this one, but found a new respect for nature here in Colorado)

{ 22. } Get plugged into regularly volunteering (Realized that as a teacher, my job is also a LOT of volunteering)

{ 23. } Finally stop biting/chewing my cuticles (January 2014 thank goodness for wedding planning and gel manicures!)

{ 24. } Live outside of the South (even if for just a little bit!) (Moved to Denver, Colorado Summer 2016)
{ 25. } Color my hair (I've always wanted to be a red head)  January 2013

{via}

{Blog}

{ 26. } Get a custom design for my site  Completed October 2012

{ 27. } Have a blogger meetup  First one August 2012

{ 28. } Get a regular blog series up and running Blogger Spotlight

{ 29. } Interview one of my favorite big-wig bloggers

{ 30. } Attend a blogger conference Southern Blog Society Conference (2013, 2014, 2015)

I might not accomplish them all, but maybe I will be able to look back on this list in 5 years & smile at the memory of a fabulous decade!

happiness is...

I am an enabler... I am enabling you to want more, desire what you don't have, and lust after material possessions... and that probably won't stop (have you seen the cuteness that I am eyeing for Summer?)

But I want to start enabling something else too... happiness, gratitude, appreciation, contentment

I am 24 (and a little bit), happily living in a great town, in a exciting relationship with a wonderful man, mother to THE cutest pug-child, enjoy more good than bad days at work (although that might be close), call some of the most fabulous girls MY friends, bask in the warmth of a loving family, and love my new creative outlet I have found in blogging. I use the phrase everyday, but actually, I do not NEED anything.

Things that make me happy: furry woodland creatures // pretending I have a green thumb since I can't kill my succulents // red wine, need I say more? // Making friendship bracelets, and crossing projects off my Pinterest DIY board // Pugs, Doug the Pug, tan pugs,  puppy pugs, old pugs, black pugs, pug videos, pug swag... pugs // Fresh flowers, preferably of the ruffly, pink variety

Sure I would like the entire J.Crew Summer 2012 collection, a new chair in my living room would be fabulous, and if my boss believed in vacation days a trip to the beach would warmly welcomed... but forget it, sitting in my living room, in my camping chair, drinking red wine with the boy and my pug is where I am Here&Now, and I am ok with that. 
Even better, I am happy

I want to make happiness something that we remember to focus on everyday! In fact, I just bought this print to hang in my bedroom as daily inspiration.

{via}

I love seeing insights into what makes others happy, and since making appreciation of my own happiness more of a priority, have seen many posts about happiness and the simple pleasures of life pop up on my favorite blogs (here, here, here, here).


So who's with me? Let's celebrate our happiness. Exclaim, murmur, think of our joy, and if you feel comfortable, share what is making you happy these days in the comments!

xx
Jessica

P.S. Have you read "The Happiness Project"? The sisters behind A Piece of Toast swear by it (testimonial here), and I just ordered it... I'll keep you posted!

P.P.S. My sister always giggles when people say "Happiness is...", because she has the mind of a 9-year-old boy and somehow hears a dirty word... odd one!

P.P.P.S. Blogging can sometimes be a pretty facade of fake-ness (aka photoshopped reality that only show the best parts), and I love that there is a movement to make this internet world a little more real. Jess of MakeUnder My Life didn't know the huge ball she set rolling when she started the "Things I'm afraid to tell you" series... So powerful to know that we are not alone, but fortunate to have such a wonderful community of fellow bloggers as a support network

baby blogger

Good Morning! It is my 6 month blogging anniversary, and yesterday I hit 150 followers!
Thanks y'all! (At the bottom is my "THANK YOU" giveaway!)

When I started Here&Now at the end of October 2011, I knew NOTHING about how to blog. Sure, I had read hundreds of blogs, and had a healthy habit of reading amazing fashion blogs daily, but had never considered how to actually go about the DOING and the behind the scenes work required to run a "blog". I dove right into starting my blog because I had a passion for fashion, and was so inspired by the Glamourais,  Jessica Quirks, Anna Janes, and Leandras of the internets. I didn't know anything about HTML, comment moderation, blog-link ups, or SEO friendly words (to name a few). I didn't own my own domain name, have a fancy camera, or stacks of money in the bank to use towards clothes. I was naïve.

I still have a long ways to go, but have learned so much over the past 6 months. One of the motivations for starting Here&Now was to have a creative outlet that would allow me to learn and refine new skills... this definitely is that and more, and I couldn't be more thrilled about it. 

While I am no expert, I would like to share with you some of the resources that have helped me sustain and grow my blog (content, design, you name it) so far. I hope you can learn something new, and if there is a resource that has been beneficial for you, I do hope you will share it with me (I sure could use it!)

{The Basics}

1. How to get noticed (by Google, and readers)
Google/search words

2. Social Media
- On increasing traffic
- Making Pinterest work for you
- Displaying Instagram photos on your blog, and Instagram tips

{ find me here on Pinterest }

3. How to make money (if you are ready & want to)
- Getting referral commission (Reward Style)
- Making a Media Kit (& here)
- Attracting companies (& here)
- IFB tools (<-- if you are a fashion blogger, this is a MUST join site!)

Find more IFB tools here

4. So I just bought this fancy camera... what button do I push first?
Digital Photography School

 {Content}

5. I have a blog, now what do I write about?

Blogger's workout plan

6. Get inspiration

- Online magazines (Matchbook)

- other beautifully curated sites (Kirtsy)

7. Give credit

Link with love

8. Follow what you love, not the "rules"
- Sustainable Blogging

{Design}

9. On making things pretty

{ Seriously, this site is AMAZING }

10. Making a boring template yours

here, here, here, here (to list a few)

{Everything Else}

11. Networking
- Conferences (Alt Summit, Blissdom)
- people who went to conferences (1, 2, 3)
- local "meet-ups" (but haven't found a good one close to Nashville yet...)
- link up (Friday's Fancies via {long distance loving})

12. How to make it a business
Listen to the advice of others who have successfully made the transition to a full time business venture

13. Getting is ALL done
- Productivity

I want to seriously thank each and everyone of you for supporting my blogging efforts over the past 6 months (can't believe it has already been half a year!). 

I do this blog for me, but I couldn't be doing it without you!

I hope to bring you new and exciting content, and bring about some fun changes to my little spot on the internet. If there is any constructive criticism, or suggestions you have please leave them in the comments for me!

And now as a huge THANK YOU, I have a small token of my appreciation in the form of another giveaway. This time from the lovely Etsy shop that is Diament Designs.
For a chance to win, please let me know how you follow Here&Now
Bloglovin'
Twitter
Google Friend Connect (left side bar)
and your email address in the comments

A winner of a $25 gift card to Diament Designs' Etsy Shop Will be announced next Friday (May 4th) at 9am (entries will be counted through May 3rd at midnight)
In the mean time, the wonderful Libby has graciously provided Here&Now readers 15% off everything in her shop with the code HELLO (get to shopping!)

These are my favorite picks (from 100s!) from her shop, most of them being $10-14 (which means you could certainly get 2 fabulous pieces with your gift card)
I definitely picked up the "Gigi" bracelet
(so what if it is weird that I am the one perpetuating my self given nickname!)
What would you use the gift card for if you won!?